Why I’m Glad I Got Kicked Out of The BeatlesWhy I’m Glad I Got Kicked Out of The Beatles
By Pete Best

Nobody ever believes me when I say this, but getting thrown out of the Beatles right before they hit it big was a blessing. Thrown out for being too handsome, by the way. That’s a fact. They were threatened by me looks. You know how they always called Paul “the cute one”? Ol’ Bestie, I was the cute one. Paul was called “The next cutest one, way after Pete,” back in the early days. I guess he didn’t fancy that title much. So they give me the heave ho. Replace me with Ringo. No chance anyone is going to call him the cute one.

All the fame and fortune that followed them, I never missed it one bit. Look where it got the boys. John ended up shot by some nut. He needed that like a hole in the head. That was the joke I used to say about that whole affair back when it happened. Fellas at the pub never cared for that joke but it’s funny. I’m not sure if that wanker gave it to him it in the head though. It’s been a long time. I use that joke about old Abe Lincoln too. Needed that like a hole in the head. It’s a good laugh. Fellas at the pub like that much better. Doesn’t come up as much.

Married to Yoko. Wouldn’t wish that on me worst enemy. I’ve been married to me Kathy over forty years now. Never sings, Kathy. Not even in the shower. Doesn’t get involved in me business at all. I’m working on replacing some wallpaper with me mates, she doesn’t come into the bathroom and start whispering in me ear, “that bloke isn’t good for you, let that one loose, wallpaper with me.” Keeps to herself. Has tea with her sister a lot. Cries a bit often. Cleansing.

George. Brain cancer. That’s not a picnic. You know what can get you brain cancer? Guilt. You fire your friend off a band because he’s too handsome, that eats at you, eats at your insides. Also syphilis. I think it killed one of those dictators. Gnaws away at the brain. Now I’m not implying George was syphed out, but the facts are the facts. By the way, I had a brain scan just a month ago. Ship shape. The part that’s supposed to be blue on that color chart thing? Nearly all blue. Beautiful. Doc said I had the brain of a twelve-year-old. That’s from living a guilt free, syph free life.

“The cute one.” He’s had a bloody good couple of years, eh? Me Kathy — with two legs of her own, I should add — didn’t marry me for the money. I know that. Feels right lovely. Sure, Sir Paul has a billion or so, less what ol’ peg leg took off him, but what else has he got? Not much. He’s a “legend,” sure, but you know why you become a legend? Because you can’t well do the stuff you did well back in the day well anymore! Legend means old geezer. Nobody calls old Pete Best a legend, and I rather like it that way. Nothing to prove, nothing to have to live up to. Sir Paul, every couple of years or so, comes out with another shitty album nobody wants to hear. I went to see his show about a year or so back, some mates and I snuck in, and all was fine when he sang the songs he did with the boys. Even the Wings songs, the fans didn’t mind. Then he says, “here’s something off me new album.” You never saw so many people leave to piss in your life. Don’t think he doesn’t notice. He’s dying inside. Misery. Do I need that? Answer: No, I do not.

Ringo has done quite all right for himself considering what he lacks in looks and talent. I never had a problem with Ringo, actually. He felt bad when he took me spot. Bought me a pint or two and took me out for some chicken one night. I didn’t care for the chicken but they served a grilled asparagus that I rather fancied. I guess Ringo felt some guilt and didn’t want it to destroy his head like it destroyed George’s. The guilt and the syph. But Ringo needn’t have worried. I was a bit cross back then, sure, but I’ve come to realize that not being a Beatle was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Or, actually, being an ex-Beatle. Because I was a Beatle for a while. The handsomest one. That’s a fact. It’s documented

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Shaun Weiss Esq

This was in my AOL acct. I did not write this or do I know if Pete wrote it either.

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Shaun Weiss Esq

Could NOT imagine RPB writing these comments.

I agree with you Tim. But it is coming by the way of Goggle.

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Shaun Weiss Esq

What a strange thing, this is worded by somebody else, obviously, anyone who has ever met Pete or any of his band members would know that this is stupid, it comes across very spinal Tap, over the top!
Its amazing what they will allow on google and call it fact....Lol

This is obviously someone's spoof. Somehow they think they're clever but outside the fact that Pete was the "good looking one", the jokes are very low class. There is some guy that imitates the Beatles on you tube. It sounds like a transcript of something he would say.

It MUST be true if it's on the internet. I was told this by a Nigerian banker who's holding millions of dollars in escrow for me for a very small fee.

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"Work Hard, Rock Hard, Eat Hard, Sleep Hard, Grow Big, Wear Glasses If You Need 'em" - Webb Wilder

I just can't imagine Pete writing anything like this so I don't believe it. Anyone who knows Pete wouldn't believe it either. This is a spoof.

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MARS MARSDEN

This exact story is on Creepiosity, attributed to Pete Best. I do believe they are treating it as fact there. They say their site is for the "unintentionally" "creepy". There by ripping Pete as a nut in the process. Maybe admin should contact these people to have it removed.
http://www.creepiosity.com/essays/beatles/

If you look closely, it's really a rip on ALL the beatles as much as a rip on certain types of fans, and uses a fictional, exagerated PB vehicle to deliver the spoof.

The author of the essay is one david bickel, also the author of the book "creepiosity" as show in the link at top right of his page "essays by david bickel"

I can't say I'm offended; it would be like being offended by Steve Rix's "ringo makes toast" vids,..although i was uncomfortable with the use of 2 very real tragedies (untimely passings of JL & GH, RIP). However, on the lighter side, it is a fictional character being conjured up. The touchy part is that fab fans might see the essay as being real.

I sent him a note through the contact section on his website. See link below to do it yourself too...show you can appreciate good humor and spoof and that we're all good sports about the mythology etc. http://<br /> <br /> http://www.cr...y.com/contact/